


Echolocation

by childoflightning



Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [18]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Chance Meetings, Character Believed Dead, Childhood Friends, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Cults, Deaf Deceit, Deceit Means Well, Deceit has PTSD, Deceit has Vitiligo, Deceit's Name is Deceit, Gen, Good Deceit Sanders, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Multi, Old Friends, Other, Past Child Abuse, Roman Sanders is Oblivious, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Theater - Freeform, Thinking You Are a Bad Person, Trauma, Virgil has PTSD, Virgil has a Service Dog, deceit centric, roman is trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-12 19:44:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20569844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childoflightning/pseuds/childoflightning
Summary: "Virgil" was not a name Deceit was expecting to hear ever again. So when he did, he was admittedly surprised.But it couldn’t be the same person, right? Sure, Virgil was an uncommon name, but there were close to 8 billion people on the planet, it wasn’t like the Virgil he knew was the only person who had the name. Plus, Virgil was dead. It didn't matter anyway.Virgil was dead. It wasn't worth wasting time over.Virgil was dead.Wasn't he?





	1. Transmit

**Author's Note:**

> **TW: Cult, Blood, Dissection, Manipulation, Child Abuse, PTSD, Gaslighting, Repression**  
In Depth TW in End Notes

Dee had just barely moved theater companies when he first met Roman. Of course, the meeting itself made sense considering Roman was the director and he was the new scenographer. Roman ended up being pretty okay in Dee’s mind. He was a nice guy, if a bit oblivious at times. Plus, unlike a lot of directors Dee had worked with, Roman didn’t yell. Which Dee liked. A lot. Yelling still set him on edge, often times resulting in him hovering above a panic attack as he tried to stop his body from trembling.

Roman also didn’t point out and marvel over Dee’s skin and hair, specifically the patches of depigmentation covering it. He didn’t question the extensive scarring on half his face or even stare at for too long. He also didn’t bother him about his hearing aid, except to ask if he needed any accommodations and how he could provide them. Dee appreciated all of that.

It wasn’t that Deceit minded people asking about these things, it just became an issue when people started asking offensive questions. Which was more often than not.

Sure, Deceit could understand that some people were curious. But they could keep that to themselves. Or even do a fucking google search if they really wanted to. (Really, vitiligo was easy to google, hearing loss equally so. His scar was a bit different, but people could just mind their own fucking business for once in their god damn lives).

But Roman didn’t do any of that. The asking part at least. It’s not like Dee checked his web history.

In fact, Roman had welcomed him graciously, and admitted to him in private that he was a little more than happy to see the old scenographer go and was equally excited to work with Dee. So Deceit guessed Roman was okay.

But the best part of working with Roman probably had to be how open he was. It was something that Deceit was very poor at himself and really admired in his colleague.

At not even a week of being there, Roman had already started to mention his husbands- which there were three of- to him.

He talked transparently about their relationship, setting Dee at ease with his own sexuality within the company. Plus, he always had plenty of funny stories about them, even if Dee refused to give Roman the pleasure of him laughing. At this point he had heard both Patton and Logan’s names but had not put a name yet to the third.

It was a week later that he heard the last name.

Someone else had asked him how his husbands were, and Roman- like always- had brightened up.

He talked about how Logan was working on a new project to save some obscure species of fish. He mentioned that Patton had opened a new chapter of his non profit and was starting to reach a wider audience. He explained that Virgil had recently chosen a new puppy to eventually replace his older service dog.

At the last name Dee choked on his drink.

Roman turned to him with a questioning gaze, and Dee brushed it off with a wave of his hand even as he listened closer to the conversation.

Because Dee had only ever met one person with that name. A person who was supposed to be dead.

But it couldn’t be the same person, right? Sure, Virgil was an uncommon name, but there were close to 8 billion people on the planet, it wasn’t like the Virgil he knew was the only person who had the name. Plus, Virgil was dead. It didn't matter anyway.

Images of the child screaming as he was dragged to the cellar filled his head and he did his best to shove them away.

“Dee?” Roman called, “You - - -?”

He shook his head to get rid of the rest of the memories and reached up to readjust his hearing aid when it started giving feedback.

“Can you repeat that?” he asked.

“Just asking if you were ready to get back.”

He nodded, swiftly drank the rest of his coffee and moved to follow Roman out of the room.

Virgil was dead. It was worth wasting time thinking about it.

* * *

He didn’t think about Virgil. He wasn’t thinking about Virgil. Sure, _maybe_ his breath caught each time Roman mentioned his name and he couldn’t help but notice the similarities- but Virgil was _dead_ so it didn’t matter.

Roman would talk about Virgil’s snark and wit and Dee would remember quiet conversations in the dark when they were alone.

Roman would talk about his empathy and Dee would remember the Virgil he knew being the only one who didn’t seem to mind the white marks that had started at his eyes and continued to spread across his face.

Roman would talk about his strength and Dee would remember about how the boy who he knew had learned to stop screaming when they hurt him.

But it wasn’t the same person. It couldn’t be. Virgil was dead.

It was on the anniversary of the very day that Virgil died that Dee learned that he was not dead, and in fact, very much alive.

Roman came in late, racing in, muttering apologies and trying to fix his hair. There were shadows under his eyes that weren’t normally there. Dee frowned a bit at the sight. He wasn’t worried, because worry and care got you hurt. Dee was just, reasonable concerned, because if Roman wasn’t doing well the whole play could suffer.

Dee would ask him later if everything was alright. Not because they were friends or anything- Dee didn’t do friends- but just because he needed Roman to be on top of things. That was all. He didn’t care about the man.

He caught him as they were finishing up for the day.

“Hey Roman?” he called to the taller man.

He turned around and gave him a look, tilting his head to look at him. Dee walked towards him past the aisles of seats.

“Hey,” Dee repeated, then gulped as he tried to voice what he was trying to say, “You, uh, seemed a bit off today?”

There, Dee didn’t say anything about worry or care- which he _definitely_ didn’t have for him anyways, but he did open it up so maybe Roman would tell him what was wrong.

Roman exhaled and his shoulders slid down, even as his whole body held tension.

“Uh, Virgil’s going - a tough time -,” Roman admitted, “Today’s been especially hard for him.”

Dee couldn’t deny it any longer, this had to be Virgil they had to be the same person it was no longer a coincidence. It couldn’t be.

“Oh,” was all Dee offered, then shifted from one foot to the other, “Well, maybe the next few days will be better?”

Roman gave him a look and then a smile, “Yeah, - -.”

“Uh, can you repeat that?”

“Thank you,” Roman repeated.

“I didn’t do anything,” Dee was quick to defend, because he didn’t and he couldn't have Roman thinking he cared about him. If they knew he cared about him they would make him hurt Roman. Just like they made him hurt Virgil.

But you're not there anymore, he reminded himself. Is it really so bad to care? Show compassion?

_Yes_, a part of his brain screamed at him. Yes it is. You’re going to get hurt, or even worse get Roman hurt.

The thought was irrational but overpowering and Deceit still didn’t quite know what to do about any of it.

“Y’know, - remind - of Virgil sometimes,” Roman commented, “You should meet someday. - see you around.”

Dee just stared after him because Roman didn’t have any clue how right he was.

That evening he made a decision and looked up Virgil. He didn’t know his last name, but it didn't matter because typing in ‘Virgil Trignea Cult’ turned out to be plenty enough. His search revealed a slew of information and an abundance of news articles. Most of it didn’t go into that much detail about Virgil himself, but it was more than he needed. It told him Virgil was indeed alive.

It talked about Virgil’s kidnapping, and about how seven years later the police found him in an abandoned cellar, half dead. Dee winced at the description they gave. More recent articles revealed him testifying when the cult was busted. Dee hadn’t been involved in it all, considering he had been more than a little fucked up at that time- apparently being brainwashed for all 20+ years of your life could do that to you.

After he had read a bit, he shut his computer and had to take some deep breaths for a second as a single realization raced through his mind.

He didn’t know why this was hitting him now of all times, because he was approaching a few hours of knowing this information, but suddenly it just seemed to hit him.

Virgil was alive.

Virgil was _alive_.

_Virgil was alive._

Dee started to cry, berating himself a bit at the weakness, wiping his eyes quickly, only to flinch as he brushed a delicate patch of scar tissue. A permanent scar which was a reminder that he would have to carry with him for the rest of his life.

And now he was crying harder because god dammit this wasn’t fair. Virgil had been a kid. He had been a fucking kid and he had been kidnapped and abused and treated horribly and then left for dead.

Dee never had it as bad as him, he had always been the favored one due to his easy compliance. He was never like Virgil. He never tried to break the rules or run away. He hadn’t known anything else. But Virgil had.

Virgil had used to tell him about families and homes and schools. Virgil told him about a life that seemed so strange and alien and different than the one Dee lived in.

As a child he could remember being horrified at the life Virgil posed, because the idea of freedom like that scared him. He saw the world outside of Trigenea as scary and evil and terrifying. A place of pain and misery.

He hadn’t known how much better was. He hadn’t known the gravity of the situation he was in, what it meant. He hadn’t known that the exact terms he used to describe the outside world were really descriptors of his current situation

And Virgil had been punished for telling him these things- ‘implanting lies in his head’ was what They had said.

Virgil had been killed for it.

Or at least they tried to kill him for it. Because here he was, alive and well.

He remembered his parents saying Virgil had deserved the abuse because he was a bad kid, and Dee was so much better, right? Dee wouldn’t turn out like Virgil had, right? _Right?_

Dee could remember hating Virgil for dying. It was awful, but Dee had used to wish Virgil was still alive, because while Virgil was alive everyone hurt him. Dee had hurt him too. He hadn’t wanted to, but they had told him and he didn’t disobey, because disobeying meant that he got what Virgil did. Virgil being alive meant that people hurt him. And if they were hurting Virgil they weren’t hurting Deceit.

But Virgil had been left for dead and they needed someone else to hurt so Dee ended up getting it all anyways. And he hated Virgil for that. Blamed Virgil for it. If only Virgil was good, better, maybe they wouldn’t have hurt either of them?

It wasn’t until after he had escaped that he realized how fucked up the entire concept of all of that was. How the cult had convinced him that these things were Virgil’s fault, because it gave Dee someone to blame instead of them.

The shame he felt over those past thoughts, those past actions to Virgil could be overwhelming on the best of days, and crippling on the worst. Today was a bad day.

Dee was full out crying now.

He couldn’t stop the tears flooding down his cheeks and he was so angry at himself because crying was a sign of weakness. He couldn’t be weak. If he was weak, they would hurt him. He banged his hands angrily down on his desk, feeling a bit better at the impact.

He tried to recall his therapists words.

Something about crying not being a weakness, but a vulnerability, which was true strength. About how he perceived it as weakness because he was told it was one and then had been hurt for it.

But he wasn’t being hurt anymore. He was safe. He was out. He was okay.

And he could cry if he needed to.

So he did.

After he was done crying, he made his decision.

He had hurt Virgil enough by this point in life. It would be pointless to reach out of him. Dee would only hurt him more. So he didn’t say anything.

Weeks passed by. And then months. And then a year. And then another year. And Deceit still stayed silent.

After all, it was for the best.

Wasn’t it?

* * *

_Virgil was staring at the ceiling, not talking_. Which was unusual for him. Usually when they went to bed, Deceit and him would spend a good while talking. But the twelve-year-old was absolutely silent.

“Virgil?” he called out.

Virgil muttered something and with a sinking feeling Deceit realized he hadn’t been able to hear it. That had been happening more and more recently.

Deceit sat up in bed and turned to face Virgil, unsure if he should ask the boy to repeat himself.

Virgil saw him sit up, and copied.

“What?” Virgil asked.

Deceit hesitated.

“Are you o- Uh- You’re not usually this quiet,” he muttered.

Virgil shrugged and huffed out a sigh, letting his body hunch forward. He looked exhausted, not that Deceit could blame him. They both had spent the majority of the day learning about the best arteries to cut to collect blood from and not waste it. They had to practice relentlessly which had been both physically and mentally exhausting.

Deceit himself really just wanted to fall asleep. But something about Virgil’s subdued quietness seemed important.

“Deceit,” Virgil eventually said, “Do you ever-” he cut himself off, “never -.”

“What is it?” the impatient preteen insisted.

Virgil hesitated. He started picking at his nails, scraping the already bare stubs down further. It had always been a habit of his. Deceit just watched as he waited for him to speak up.

Virgil eventually mumbled something out at a volume that Deceit couldn’t hear.

“What?” he asked.

Virgil sighed loudly and shifted in his position. He pulled his legs up as his back and head came to rest against the wall.

“Do you - think about just- being anywhere but here? Like - in the _real_ world?”

Deceit blinked a few times.

“Virgil,” he hissed, “How can you say that! If Mom or Dad, or worse, Savior Matthews, heard you say that they’d kill you!”’

“I know,” Virgil replied.

“And- and- even if they wouldn’t- Virgil you know it’s good here! I know it was really hard being brought here at first, but you’ve been here for years now! We saved you! And things are so much better here. Out in the world it’s a mess. But Savior Matthew keeps us all safe here. And he was even kind enough to take you in with us. How could you- How could you betray us like that?” Deceit finished, his voice wavering slightly towards the end.

How could Virgil even think about being somewhere else? After all they had done for him?

“I- I- know,” Virgil hesitated. Tears sprung to the corner of his eyes and Deceit had to blink rapidly to not allow his own to form, “But- - Deceit, -. They hurt us -. And not - me. They hurt you too! And- and they don’t - that outside of here! How could you not want that?”

“They hurt us because they _care,_” Deceit insisted, “You only get hurt so often because you don’t listen and come up with stupid stuff like this. And you don’t even know if they wouldn’t hurt us outside of here too. You were pretty much a baby when you got here.”

“Was not,” Virgil protested.

“Yeah, you were,” Deceit challenged, “You pretend to be this expert on everything outside of here but the truth Virgil is that you don’t know anything about it. Which is good! It’s awful out there.”

“But you don’t know that!” Virgil protested.

“Yes I do!” Deceit practically screamed.

“How - you? You’ve never even been out of here,” Virgil pointed out, “I mighta come - when I was really little, but you can’t pretend to know more than - because at least I saw it!”

“It’s awful!” Deceit protested, “Savior Matthew and everyone says so!”

“Why do - believe them?” Virgil demanded, “How can you believe anything they say?”

“Virgil they- How could I _not_ believe them?”

The two fell silent, tiny chest breathing as they both tried to catch their breaths. Both were panting, from a mix of yelling and just the amount of overwhelming emotion building up inside them.

Deceit didn’t really know why he was so upset. Virgil was just being stupid. Of course Savior Matthew and his parents knew what was best. They took care of him and kept him safe. It was better here. Why couldn’t Virgil see that?

“Deceit?” Virgil eventually said.

“What?” he huffed.

“Has anyone here ever even given you - reason to trust them?”

“Yes,” he responded immediately, not even having to think about his answer, because of course they did. He could trust them with his life. This was his place, his community, his _family_.

“Okay,” Virgil eventually relented, “Just- they haven’t ever - so for me.”

Deceit’s first reaction was to scoff that of course they had, but he caught himself. Because had they? They had saved Virgil, which had to count for something, right? But they had never actually told him what they had saved Virgil from. Why _had_ they brought Virgil here?

“I- I really hope your right about this place Deceit,” Virgil admitted, before laying back down and closing his eyes to fall asleep.

“Of course I am,” he scoffed.

Even as he claimed such a fact, a heavy weight settled deep in his stomach and he let out a loud gulp. Of course they cared. Of course this was better than anywhere else. It was his home. And that had to count for something.

_Right?_


	2. Recieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit had been playing the "avoid Virgil at all costs" game for two years now. It was bound to fail eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: Blood, Death, Implied Murder, PTSD, Cults, Nightmares, Ableism, Gaslighting**  
In Depth TW in End Notes

_“Deceit!” a voice called, “We have something to show you!”_

At the noise the younger boy’s head shot up and he went scampering towards his parents. He raced out of the room and through the front door, letting it bang loudly behind him.

Yesterday, he had been told that his parents and the other adults had some very important things to do, but if he was lucky, they would return the next day with a surprise. It seemed that he was lucky.

“Mom! Dad! What is it? Is it a present?” he asked excitedly as he skidded to a stop in front of them.

His parents grinned down at him. His mother reached her hand to fondly ruffle his hair. Deceit noticed that there were bits of caked blood in between her fingers. She must have been busy last night and not had the chance to wash it off.

“Sort of,” his mom said, a smile stretching across her face, “It’s a present to all of us. Like you were, baby.”

Deceit nodded in understanding. His parents had always made sure he knew that he had been a gift.

He had a sibling older than him once, but when Deceit was born, he had been better. Unlike his sibling had been, Deceit was special. His parents always told him they hadn’t wanted kids. But when he was born, there had been something different about him. He didn’t cry and his wide eyes showed true wisdom, they claimed. And now that they had an appropriate child, they disposed of the other. Deceit had been better.

“You wanna see?” Mom asked.

Deceit nodded furiously.

Suddenly, Dad was pulling something out from behind him. And was that a kid? Like him?

“We found another child sweetie, a gift to us, just like you were.”

“Woah,” Deceit said as he stepped forward. The kid was shivering but Deceit paid no attention, getting right up close to him. “So cool. What’s your name?”

The kid didn’t respond at all, instead he just continued to quiver in his father's grip.

Deceit frowned.

His father squeezed the boys arm, “Answer,” he insisted.

“V- Virgil,” the boy squeaked out.

“This is going to be so awesome!” Deceit proclaimed, “Me and you are going to be best friends Virgil.”

The boy just stared at him, eyes wide and round with fear. Deceit wasn’t sure why. His parents and his community- Trigenea itself- it was all so great. _Virgil would get used to it and then he would understand what Deceit’s parents had done for him, how they had saved him._

* * *

Deceit woke up with a start, a thin layer of sweat coating his entire body.

“Fuck,” he groaned out as he sat up.

He pressed his hands sharply against his face, wincing a bit as he hit a sensitive spot on the extensive scarring that covered half of it. His chest heaved a bit under labored breaths and he worked on slowing them down.

With a sigh, he gave himself a minute to collect his thoughts before throwing himself out of bed.

He’d been having more dreams of Virgil lately.

Two months ago he had finally mentioned to his therapist that the boy he used to torment, was not only alive, but a work-friend’s husband. She had asked how that meeting went. Dee then had to admit that he had yet to actually tell the work-friend about the connection, and went out of his way to avoid his husband. He also had to admit that he had known about such things and had been playing this avoidance game for over two years now.

Had it really been over two years since he had found out about the connection?

She had then asked him why he was intentionally avoiding him.

He asked her if she had missed the whole ‘I literally abused’ him part.

She asked if he had any choice in the matter.

He had said of course he had.

She had asked if he was saying that because he could have actually changed the situation, or if he was placing guilt and responsibility on something that was out of his control.

He had left the office.

Again, that had been two months ago. They had spent the majority of sessions since talking about exactly what things had been like between him and Virgil, including the abuse they both faced, and the abuse that Deceit was forced to inflict on Virgil, lest they both be hurt or worse.

He had slowly started to accept that maybe not everything that had happened to Virgil had been his fault. Maybe.

He had also started to question what it would be like to maybe reach out to Virgil. What would happen? Deceit may have been working on not feeling as much guilt around the situation, but Virgil could very well hate him for it. Dee would understand that.

But, in the meantime, it had been causing a lot of dreams. Some happy, some sad, some that had him waking up screaming.

Dee let his thoughts ramble like this as he worked on getting ready for work. He fed himself, checked on his snakes, got dressed, and grabbed his hearing aid. A perfectly normal morning, if following a slightly disturbing dream.

He didn’t know it at the time, but it would be the last morning of its kind.

* * *

Work that day seemed to surprisingly fly past. The week before had been slow, tedious, and frustrating. Dee had been expecting this week to be the same.

It was not like that at all. There seemed to be a sort of light in the air. Everyone seemed positive and cooperative- a true rarity when working in professional theater- as well as productive.

He and Roman had sent down and worked through a few scenes that had been tricky. Deceit had explained his vision for the play as Roman nodded along as they worked on sorting out the reality. It was nowhere near finished off course, but they had gotten a lot down and final moved past a major block in one scene. Dee ended the day with an unusually upbeat attitude.

This of course came crashing down when he set off to leave. He had grabbed his stuff and headed out, planning on saying goodbye to Roman first. He swung around the corner where he had last seen the man and almost ran straight into him.

“Dee!” Roman said, a large grin across his face, “You - finally - my husband, -!”

Time stopped as Deceit’s eyes met those of the man standing next to Roman. And wow, yeah Deceit could see it. It was definitely Virgil, just all grown up instead of an abused 13-year-old.

“Holy shit,” Virgil said.

“Fuck,” was Deceit’s chosen phrase.

Just because he had been wondering what it would maybe be like to talk to Virgil after all these did not mean he was actually prepared to do so.

“Deceit?” Virgil said, eyes going wide. He hovered a bit, both seeming to want to take a step forward and a step back. The dog at his side seemed to carefully watch his actions. Deceit would’ve gone with the step back.

“Hi Virgil.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you - knew - other!” Roman said, still in a cheerful mood, not noticing the very obvious tension. Not that Dee was surprised, Roman did tend to be sort of oblivious.

“Uh, yeah,” Virgil stammered, “We uh, we grew up together.”

Well that was one way to put it.

Roman’s eyebrows threaded together.

“Like, when you were a little -? Or a teenager? Or like - you-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil said with a nod, “No, like we grew up - the cult together.”

Virgil grabbed his arms together tightly and his dog jumped up to lightly nose at the arms. He dropped them to his sides, shoving them in his hoodie's pockets instead.

“Oh,” Roman said, seeming at a loss for words.

Not that Dee could actually blame him, it wasn’t like he really knew what to say either.

“I can’t believe - just- ran into - other,” Virgil admitted.

“Yeah,” Deceit choked out. This was his cue to speak, right? “Uh, yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen this way.”

Virgil frowned.

“What - you mean, ‘didn’t mean to-’ wait, Deceit, - -, did you know?” Virgil said, coming to a realization, “Did you know about -? Like - Roman’s husband Virgil - me Virgil?”

Shit. This was not how Dee had meant to do things at all.

“Uhh,” is all Deceit said, but it was more than enough.

And now Virgil’s face was closing off and he was taking a step back and he looked exactly like he did when Deceit’s father first pulled him out from behind his back and shoved him forward. He looked lost and scared and alone. Dee had to fix this.

“It’s just- I know you probably hate me. And that’s okay, I deserve it. So I just thought I’d stay out of your way,” he attempted to explain.

“Hate -?” Virgil asked. His eyebrows crinkled and he took a step back towards Deceit. “- would - - -?”

He missed most of what Virgil said and had to ask him to repeat.

“Why would I hate you Dee?”

Dee almost laughed, because it was so not funny that it was absolutely hilarious.

“I dunno, maybe because I was literally a part of the people who abused and tortured you, Virgil,” he wasn't laughing now, instead coming off as biting and harsh.

“You were a _kid_,” Virgil protested, “You didn’t- Deceit - would of _killed_ you. They tried to kill _me_. We do what it - to survive okay, I don’t blame - and I _definitely_ don’t hate you.”

“Oh,” is all that he managed, “right.”

The two stared at each other for a bit wondering what exactly would come next. Roman looked between the two of them, equally as lost to the next thing to do in this situation.

Dee broke the silence.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Virgil went to protest, but Deceit pushed through.

“I get that you don’t hate me and it’s not like things- it’s just. I still did those things. I still hurt you. And I may not have had a choice, but I’m still sorry.”

“Okay,” Virgil says, and then repeated it, “Okay,” a pause, “Thanks. I’m sorry too.”

Deceit’s eyes shot up to meet his.

“What- What for? You didn’t do anything.”

“I mean, debatable,” Virgil hedged “but it’s - what - - than what I did. Because - many - did you - - - - me?”

“Sorry, can you repeat that?”

“I said that was -,” Virgil repeated, “but it was more - - - than what - did. I mean - how - times - - take - fall for -”

Dee fought the urge to reach up and mess with his hearing aid, even though he knew it wouldn’t help at all.

“Ca- can you repeat that again?” he said, starting to feel bad for having to ask him again.

In fact he only asked again instead of scrambling to put the lost pieces together and pretending that he understood, because Roman- who was still there with them- has told him again and again that he can ask for him to repeat himself as many times as he needed.

It was something that made Dee nervous a lot at first, because generally when he asked people to repeat themselves nowadays the best he got was annoyance and exasperation. The worst had been awhile ago and had involved him in a lot more pain.

“I said that was debatable,” Virgil said once more, “that it was more - you did than what I -. Like, how many times did you take - fall for something I did?”

The correct answer to that was a lot. Maybe not at the beginning, but after a few years Deceit grew fond of him. Started to think of Virgil as more of a friend than a fascinating pet.

It was when his parents learned of this changing viewpoint that they made him start hurting Virgil. It was also this changing view that had him claiming things were actually Virgil’s fault, because he knew if they thought he had done them, it wouldn’t be a big deal. If it had been Virgil, he would have been hit or burned.

“It’s fine Virgil,” was all he can manage to say.

“Uh- when did- did you get out when they busted the cult a - years ago?”

And suddenly memories of screaming filled his ears and hands grabbing his and yanking him and someone shouting to kill himself before they got to him.

And then the police barging in and him weeping because at this point he knows this is _wrong_ and maybe he’s safe now? And then riding in one of the cars and there’s glass in the windows and he rams his head into it because he didn’t know what it was, hadn’t known glass existed.

And then sitting down and the police talking to him for hours and days and he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what they want, because what if he _says the wrong thing_ and then they send him _back_?

And he still isn’t quite sure how it happens but they rule out that he had any responsibility in any of it and he gets sent _away_ and he’s finally _free_ and he’s getting _help_ and he thinks for the first time in forever that he might be okay.

“Dee?” Virgil asked, bringing him back to the present.

“Uh yeah,” he replied, “Yeah they found me when we- they- got busted. Uh spent a few nights while they tried to figure out if I had anything to do with it all. Sent me away and I got help after.”

Virgil’s nodding. Deceit figured his situation was probably a lot similar to his own, except that they probably didn’t think that Virgil had anything to do with it all. Dee would be willing to bet that they still asked him a bunch of questions, not about responsibility but more about the cult operations.

It was then that Dee realized the time. Work was very much over at that point and everyone else has left. And he had things he needed to do. He needed to get home and feed his snakes and then run to the grocery store, and when did his life get this normal?

“I- I have to go,” he admitted, “but,” he hesitated. He wanted to keep in touch with Virgil and maybe reconnect. Virgil had said he doesn’t hate him and that’s a good sign. But he could be lying. Or, even if he didn't hate him that doesn’t mean he wanted to spend time with Dee anyways so…

Virgil jumped in to answer, filling in the gap that Dee had left open.

“I- - has your number, right? I’ll get - to send you mine? And you - text me? Or call I guess, but - don’t drop off the grid, yeah?”

Deceit let a small smile slip to his lips.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’ll text, I uh don’t call,” he gestured quickly to his hearing aid, “and I won’t drop off the radar. Not even really sure if I could. You know where I work now.”

Virgil chuckled lightly. They both stared again.

“Can, can I hug you?” Virgil asked suddenly, before Deceit could move to leave.

“Uh yeah,” he choked out.

Suddenly, they were embracing. Virgil was crying a bit, Dee noted, but honestly, who really cared? He was crying a bit too.

Too soon they broke apart and Deceit carried on his way, leaving Virgil and Roman behind. It was surprisingly hard.

Virgil waved after him, a bit dorky like. He really hadn’t changed.

Okay that’s a lie, Deceit could see how he had changed so much. He was both darker and lighter. He expressed happiness in a way he couldn’t before, but also had a shadow lingering in his eyes and a dog at his side. Deceit _got_ that. He really did. He dealt with the same things too.

But Virgil just seemed _himself_. All the little things that Dee had gotten the privilege of seeing over the years, the true parts of Virgil, those things hadn’t changed at all. It filled him with warmth and happiness, though he wasn’t quite sure why. It was just nice to see Virgil doing okay. Being happy. Living life. Having _freedom_.

* * *

A week later and they met up for lunch. Another week later and Virgil was visiting Dee’s apartment.

It was a bit awkward at first and more than a few flashbacks hit when someone mentioned something that sent the other spiraling. It was walking in a minefield for a good while, trying to figure out and learn what did and did not set the other off. Their triggers were often times similar, but didn’t always hit in the same way. And some were still completely different.

It was a learning process. But eventually things got easier.

In no time, Deceit visiting Virgil’s house for dinner with his husbands became a common thing. He got to know the Virgil of now, and Virgil got to do the same in return. Every once and awhile, Dee and Virgil would even share relatively happy stories of them as kids.

_Them, whispering to one another in the dead of the night_ even though if they were found awake they would both be beat. _One night_ when Virgil got shut outdoors on a chain- but it was alright because Dee snuck out and they stargazed for hours. _Another time- later,_ when Virgil was too scared to try to run away even when no one was around- they spent a whole two days alone. They picked strawberries from bushes and collected weird rocks.

Little things like that. Little shards of memories long forgotten. Fragile pieces that they had to be carefully to grab because they laid in a field of glass. But when they could inspect them, they were nice.

They were warm.

Dee and Virgil had both spent so long lost in the horrible, it was important to remember that they were occasional good parts too.

Things worked out.

And how crazy was that? From a childhood spent in a cult to running into each other as adults, free from the sometimes literal chains that held them. Things worked out. There was connection, and validation, and understanding between Deceit and Virgil that other people just didn't get.

Things weren't always easy, but it they were certainly beautiful. Friendships forged in fire and all that. And they would burn brightly together, a beacon of hope in the heavy darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **In Depth TW: Blood ** (numerous mentions of blood, but no characters bleed),** Death **(it is mentioned Deceit used to have a sibling who is now dead),** Implied Murder** (its implied that Deceit had a sibling who was killed),** PTSD **(Virgil and Deceit both struggle with PTSD and it's symptoms), **Cults** (Virgil and Deceit were both unwillingly in a cult), **Nightmares **(Deceit has nightmares),** Ableism **(Deceit mentions that people are ableist around him being hard of hearing),** Gaslighting **(Virgil and Deceit were extremely manipulated by the cult)
> 
> Well here it is, the conclusion of Deceit's bit. Now that he's in the universe, he's bound to show up again sometime, but for now this is done. I hope you all enjoyed this resolution and story and I would love to hear what you thought. Please remember to always be polite!
> 
> ~childoflightning
> 
> My tumblr is [here](https://thechildoflightning.tumblr.com/). Feel free to send in asks and prompts, keep updated, and see extra stuff involved with this series.

**Author's Note:**

> **TW: Cult** (Deceit was a unwilling member of a cult), **Blood** (Deceit talks about blood and collecting blood),** Dissection** (Deceit mentions dissecting something to collect blood), **Manipulation** (As a child, Deceit was manipulated by a cult), **Child Abuse** (Deceit and Virgil were abused as children),** PTSD **(Deceit struggles with PTSD and it's relating symptoms),** Gaslighting **(Deceit was manipulated into thinking the cult, and only the cult, held the correct beliefs and was right about virtually everything), **Repression** (Deceit represses a lot of emotions and feelings as a defensive mechanism surrounding his PTSD)
> 
> Well, welcome Deceit. This story will be published in two parts, and it's a lot. Please take care of yourselves if you are reading this. I hope this story is still interesting, intriguing, and eventually gratifying. Thank you for your support. As always, I would love to hear from you, and please be polite.  
~childoflightning
> 
> My tumblr is [here](https://thechildoflightning.tumblr.com/). Feel free to send in asks and prompts, keep updated, and see extra stuff involved with this series.


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